The Other Side

The Heart | Crossed or Written

I write what things that worry me, just to write things off,
whether those words are published or not.
I kept what I should keep and display what's needed.

Write things that worried me,
If I could, I would choose to not to turning up on people and letting them know.
I would rather keep them to myself, again and again.
Built up anger or frustration; till the dam holding them explodes, to cry self out, which would never cry in front of others, if I could.
Call it ego or having a damn mountain of pride, but exposing self to others in my defense is an obsolete move.
*Imagine a chess board*
Do not want to seem vulnerable and fragile.
Be a tough cookie, this chant echoes repeatedly every downfall.
Hold them in, hahah.
Screw Elsa for singing Let it go.

So I write things off.
Those words may sound full of cynics and sarcasm.
Some would even picture me as an angry cynical young lady after reading stuff I posted.
Being critical may be wrong may be wise depends on what occasion.
"I never thought that you were funny and witty."
"Well, thank you for judging me before knowing me in reality."
To such remark, I would smile and nod, or blew those queries with chuckles.

The road not taken; the road which I led, the path I used to crawl never running.
That what makes me till today.
Used to wish, to wipe some bad memories off, wishing for selective amnesia  (I can choose what to delete),
then a sister replied to those silly thoughts:
"Please don't dear, they make who you are know."
Her words are longer till tears breakdown after moments of lament.

Then I stood, messed up and screwed, judged or ignored, stride hallways because I could.
I will write my emotions and what baffle me off.
Just do not expect me to open up to people that easy.
Let me be your damn good listener, your crying shoulder.
Do not ask about my chamber of secret till I open up to you.
Trust is to gain, not to be tossed around after begging for one.

Remarks to Cry Fiction Baby,
if one ever asked I would never read sad stories or watch heartbreaking movies.
Just handle your own drama.


Heh, siapa nak Ayat balik ???

Perception | Way Life is Viewed.

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

I can't help but to comment on how we deal with any gargantuan issues in this country.
Since today is second of October in 2014,
urge to recall my last post on first January by calling 2014 as "The Darkest Year" or "Zaman Kegelapan" for us to live.
Previous rant was about increment in daily basic needs like flour, fuel, electricity or whatever extra money we need to spend to survive.
We survived till October mates...
*a Hooray!*

here came news of government revoking 20 cents of oil subsidies for RON95 and Diesel.
You may view this horrendous revoke as, "Meh, they revoke the subsidies only!"
join a wagon of mine with tad bit of rage sounded, "Crap! Now fuel's prices will increase 20 cents!"
last fuel's price spike I do hear such response like, "Man, it is just 20 cents. No big deal. Here my 20 bucks and 20 cents for my fuel."
Oh Lord!
Last comment was a sarcastic joke or he was just plain stupid.
*forgive me, my language*
craps do happen.

To tone down this enraged entry,
let's correlate Sex Education in America with our leaders point of view.
God, I hope this doesn't sound seditious at any cost, just trying to put some sense into current nonliteral massacre.
Many of us may have seen in movies with Sex Education class promoting abstinence instead of teaching those lads how to practice safe sex.
Nope, not gonna talk bout sex, but-t.
If one use an analogy for theory above,
under same principle; if you want to practice safe sex, go abstinence.
If you want to avoid motor vehicle accident, you shouldn't drive, use public transport.
If you do not want to get hurt, don't play with knife.
In this country, if you want to keep your money intact and avoid burdensome increase cost of living, you should stop using or buying those items.
*knock knock*
Guess what, I just knock some people's brains and it shows presence of resonance.
p/s: not my fault if you don't get this joke.

Yes, sure. 
Less subsidies for people of the country means more money left for governance, err, for government.
Sure, those money are for governance indeed... *rolled eyes*
Unfortunately I do not and cannot trust how those people spend people's money (paid taxes).
Their decision to revoke only RON95 and Diesel's subsidies still baffle this less skeptic mind.
Why don't we play a fair game, revoke 20 cents too for RON97 fuel? Why?
Was it because RON95 and Diesel have a bigger consumer, and you could save tons of fund?
vice versa goes for RON97.
We know what kind of people use such fuel, not from middle class people and certainly not those barely to live human.
Besides, a few weeks ago, a statistic came out claiming our country average family income was RM5900?
The heck was that? Atrocious accusation or they (the claimer) just had proven we have distinct gap of living classes.
So, I blame capitalism.
Who cares whatever blame I chose.

To make things clear,
must end this entry before more repugnant snide comment written.

Whoever you chose to blame,
maybe one should blame oneself first.
What did you do till it leads to this?
What did you contribute to make this country a better place to live in?
What are you willing to sacrifice for future generation?


Swallow it!

Heh, siapa nak Ayat balik ???

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