The Other Side

The Heart | Crossed or Written

I write what things that worry me, just to write things off,
whether those words are published or not.
I kept what I should keep and display what's needed.

Write things that worried me,
If I could, I would choose to not to turning up on people and letting them know.
I would rather keep them to myself, again and again.
Built up anger or frustration; till the dam holding them explodes, to cry self out, which would never cry in front of others, if I could.
Call it ego or having a damn mountain of pride, but exposing self to others in my defense is an obsolete move.
*Imagine a chess board*
Do not want to seem vulnerable and fragile.
Be a tough cookie, this chant echoes repeatedly every downfall.
Hold them in, hahah.
Screw Elsa for singing Let it go.

So I write things off.
Those words may sound full of cynics and sarcasm.
Some would even picture me as an angry cynical young lady after reading stuff I posted.
Being critical may be wrong may be wise depends on what occasion.
"I never thought that you were funny and witty."
"Well, thank you for judging me before knowing me in reality."
To such remark, I would smile and nod, or blew those queries with chuckles.

The road not taken; the road which I led, the path I used to crawl never running.
That what makes me till today.
Used to wish, to wipe some bad memories off, wishing for selective amnesia  (I can choose what to delete),
then a sister replied to those silly thoughts:
"Please don't dear, they make who you are know."
Her words are longer till tears breakdown after moments of lament.

Then I stood, messed up and screwed, judged or ignored, stride hallways because I could.
I will write my emotions and what baffle me off.
Just do not expect me to open up to people that easy.
Let me be your damn good listener, your crying shoulder.
Do not ask about my chamber of secret till I open up to you.
Trust is to gain, not to be tossed around after begging for one.

Remarks to Cry Fiction Baby,
if one ever asked I would never read sad stories or watch heartbreaking movies.
Just handle your own drama.


Heh, siapa nak Ayat balik ???


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Geng Mengayat

Back to Home Back to Top Ayat-mengayat..heh!. Theme ligneous by Bloggerized by Chica Blogger.