The Other Side

Personal Satisfaction

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

When I used to have odd bantering over random issues with dad,
when we were on good term.

When I was too lazy to argue anymore,
"It's personal satisfaction, dad."
There he stopped bantering... till he continued again on another issues and till I responded with same answer.

Why did he paint his house the same color as his fence?
Such view tend to look odd.

Or I ought to answer him with ' people's personal satisfaction' when I can't answer his logic-illogical queries.

Not all question got answers, ey? But that reason is the easiest one.

And we can't turn back time. Missing him every now and then.

Heh, siapa nak Ayat balik ???

Jumping Conversation || Random

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

Feelin' a bit funky every now and then,
practically previous sentence is a lie.
Hardly updating any entry per month.
Perfect excuse is I jump into labor wagon,
enslaving life to work or passion,
ending days with whines and anticipation.

The Labor Wagon:

Ain't getting comfy seat,
ain't booking any bunk but the ride
cause you bumps on head leading to
think-less state...

There, almost perfect excuse,
which is hardly true too.
Urgh, I don't know.

Maybe not thinking much on people lately,
concentrating on being an ignoramus into perfection.
Maybe some issues keep cycling and bore me,
where extremist doesn't entertaining like puppet with strings on fire,
loosely relevant but jumpy they still.

Hell, what am I rambling.

Random popped inquisition:
I never find cursing is ever charming.
Casually using b*tch, f*ck and many more.
But sadly I do find hell, arse, bloody is not as bad as above example.
I do not know.
making cursing a habit may be high chance do not provide a person with a decent image,
As a lady, as a man, a child.

Urgh, I do not know.

There. Lost some touch maybe.
Another excuse, maybe.


Heh, siapa nak Ayat balik ???

Caged Enrage | Madness

Have you ever feel like killing someone?
Murderous thought which doesn't make self being your own victim.
Nope, I do not have any suggestive vote on suicide but sometimes,
we do wanna kill a human?
If and only if such act is legal.
If and only if human is merely pest.
If and only if we could do anything what we want (to practice animal-ish life).


I don't always get mad at people to extent of getting rid them off my face near instant...
Nope, I don't.
Last time I was too mad at someone was in 2008,
too occupied in inexpressive anger that made me cried instead.
Plain idiot.

Why must crying represent weakness?
Feeling weak and vulnerable for crying over anger is pure idiocy.
I loathe frail character.

After these very 7 years,
a frail character managed to snap my sane.
Doesn't she know I barely keep my sane intact, eh!
Nah, ain't barely keeping sane but patience intact.
She tested my patience well. Kudos!

Picture a frail character, soft spoken voice, a lady-like suave tied to a bull-headed stubbornness.
Read that bull-headed stubbornness as an unnecessary being stubborn at wrong time, so called being independent almost every wrong occasions.

I hate your guts. I hate your attitude of fragile facade.
Because behind that cotton candy coating, there is a BS core within.

By this moment, I have low tolerance to BS.
It is okay for me if you admit your BS attitude or behaviour to my face,
but to fake it and being pretentious,
I really wanna punch that 'pretty face' of yours saying,
"Cut all craps, I know your game. Save it for others who doesn't know, yet."
So I admit, "I'm fake and hypocrite too."
No pretense.

Sadly, not everyone could walk their fake mask proud on hallway or to flaunt it on runway.
I may be a smug with too many BS and confidence.
But, please drop your facade.
I read your moves even before you mill churns anything.

Oh! I was judged too and being compared to you. LOL
When I have this happy-go-lucky image, went all funky easy going friendly with others,
you got this stuck up preserving 'ikhtilat' facade, the most lady like,
the most wanted 'in-law' anyone could ever get.
Trust me,
I stuck around you enough to know your theories and practicals on surviving life is near zero.
When I thought I am an ignoramus smug,
girl, why do you beat my title to lack common sense and being an ignorant at the same time.
Though I have to credit you because it is due,
"Girl, you love to trouble yourself with BLOODSHOT unnecessary things (read: helping others who doesn't even need your help but using you instead)."
Should I spit "padan muka" for not setting your priority right or "padan muka" for being too courteous with manipulating human.

I tried to straighten you up many times,
being supportive and all before I realise,
you bring upon all these dooms to yourself.
Your choice.
Thus, do have fun with your imaginary scoliosis, girl.
I don't know who could knock any sense into your head.

Trying to calm down,
post 2 days of annoyance.


Heh, siapa nak Ayat balik ???

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