Betul ke kewujudan anak-anak yang tidak bercita-cita tinggi atau punya impian yang besar,
ibu bapa anak-anak tadi telah gagal semasa mendidik mereka?
I don't know.
Bloody blood shot ambitious thinking too far ahead, thick skull thick headed human;
is the writer.
playlist is playing Here With Me by The Killers but mind is so caught up in SheWolf (Falling to Pieces) by Sia.
Unhealthy attachment to wolf.
Not a hyena, not a lioness, not evens a pussy cat.
Back to statement in the first sentence.
If that were true,
I shall deliver a load of gracious to late dad for being a constant motivator.
Always tell me,
"You must know how to pick up yourself after every fall."
No, his words ain't exactly those but,
he made me realize why I should work my arse off to get what I want,
do live by certain rules,
guided by particular principles,
regardless both of us are like fire and oil when went head to head.
Thou those days were over,
such rebel won't be forgotten cause guilt still have a ride on my back.
Soon, I'll bury these dead horses (guilt) and learn how to forgive self.
An ignorant nincompoop child.
During growing up period,
having a too successful big sister, a special brother and a lil sister (she has nothing to do with my bench marks),
had set aim too high,
worrying every possible questions filled with doubts;
they’ll be singing;
"What if I did not succeed..."
"What if I turn out to be the black sheep in the family?"
"What if I failed to be equally successful like her?"
"What if... "
many other things a silly kid could think at the moment.
Roads taken were not all pretty, there are rough patches,
did great, alhamdulillah till I found my breaking point in 2006.
that female dog bite us hard.
It leaves scars and forever lingers flashing its presence.
How does one define a breaking point?
Let's imagine a human like a spring or rubber band.
*Oh, God, no! Now Elastic Heart by Sia plays*
According to theory of kinetic energy?,
when a spring has reached its limit when it doesn't expand or stretch anymore,
till it snapped and broke.
A broken spring.
a human approaching breaking point is like a spring reaching its limit.
I worried too much when I was a kid.
being thoughtless for thinking too much is ironic and funny.
Almost 10 years later,
learnt a lesson that,
"Not everyone has same path or timeline in life."
To lost that, to achieve this,
to being broke and broken,
to be left out and unheard,
to be taken care off too much till it suffocates,
to lead a rebellion of skeletons in the closet.
Don’t be too hard on yourself.
You are not alone.
Creatures are creation.
It is The Creator that we need to put our faith in.
Too much pride you have, love.
It is okay to fall, every once in a while,
every now and then.
It is okay.
You are human, ain’t angels nor devils.
We are gonna be the craziest parents ever! hahah.