The Other Side

Mushy Cheesy | 1.0 Version

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.
Sisi gelap seorang perempuan ego asalnya,
Perempuan yang kononnya tak reti bicara manis-manis indah-indah beralasankan;
saya cuma tulis apa yang saya tahu, dan apalah cerita romantis bagi perempuan berhati beku.
Kukuh bukan alasan perempuan itu.
Sehinggalah penemuan blog kawan twitter,
Lalu perempuan itu merasa terkesima atas kebolehan berbahasa puitis romantis lelaki itu.
Ego yang belum dikambus dalam tanah, hati dia terdetik;
Alar, lelaki, 'sweet talk' itu bukankah kebolehan semulajadi mereka…
*cebik-cebik berlagak sexist*
Masih berpaksikan ego tanpa hujung,
dengan tip yang diberikan oleh beliau, ehem! *kekening*
tulis ayat gula-gula itu mudah jika sedang melayan perasaan, atau 'in mood'.
Cubaan pertama cheesy mushy.
Awak,
Saya dah letak tepi dah ego saya ni.
Ye lah, ada ego membukit pun bukannya boleh bawa kenyang,
tapi saya tinggalkan sebesar busut,
kalau-kalau kita gaduh nanti,
Takde lah saya kena maki disalahkan sebab ego berkren kena angkut selepas bukit diletup.
***
Hahaha. Ya Tuhan.
I've tried writing this mushy version lebih sebulan setengah.
Dalam Evernote, sampai lupa nak sambung.
Sebenarnya, tak mampu nak sambung.
Sebab geli.
Kesiannya…
Nampak gaya,
Maaf, mungkin projek Mushy Cheesy version takkan ada 'update' selamanya.
Sangkut dan bermula dari 1.0 dan kekal jadi 1.0…
Tabik hormat lah,
I really can't.
And rereading silly so called mushy entries I drafted, apparently,
They are not corny at all.
Poor soul.
Tak apa lah.
Saya tak reti nak jiwang-jiwang, sweet sweet tu kadang-kadang je jadi. Tak boleh nak reka jadi entry,
Kalau buat spontaneous kat memember,
Hiks, am good kay.
Erm. Member, that's why.
And thank you for saying it is fun to have a long thread with me.
I convo nanti datang lah yer.
Tak dapat apa-apa, dapat jumpa I je lah. Hahaha.
Since the chance was blown last weekend.


Heh, siapa nak Ayat balik ???

Drawn A Line

Kau tahu perasaan macam bodoh tu macam mana?

Like you have known someone for a very long time, exceeded 5 years of course.
One day, you get along together and catch up some missed thing while both of you were gone or separated.
This thought always bother me,
And it bothers me bad.
I don't know whether I was missing the memories or missing the person I had the memories with.
Or I was just missing my oldself?
It is hard when you found out after the meet up, it is you that have changed, not the other party.
For I to feel bad missing the old me more than the memories or the people inside.
I'm confused.
I can't settle my feelings.



Sure, as a way to comfort,
I could say, everybody would grow up one day.
One day.
And I was just grow up or grew out of my own self.
Blergh. Not a cool thing to reminisce early in the morning.
A boggle is still boggling and I can't let this thought aside.

Mister,
I'm sorry. I'm not the one I used to be.
Took it for maturity or you were mature since the day we knew.
It is sad. Hahah. Sure, everything won't be the same. No.
But it breaks me seeing you didn't change.
You are good to stay same ol fella like before. And yeah, I blame myself for unable to cheer you up like before.

Life is hard. Sorry.
Like a touche my playlist is playing My Life Would Suck Without You // Kelly Clarkson, just after I've finnished typing this.


Heh, siapa nak Ayat balik ???

Dear you.

Remember when I laughed at you after you said you can't move on from your past love, or crush per se.
Hahahaha.
Yeah, I still laugh at it because in my point of view, that bloody guy does not deserve your attention at all, not a pinch.
And remember when I said, how good I am at tolerating my old interest and now I'm not feeling anything towards him?
Well, you can laugh at me back.
Hahaha. Silly me.
Trying so hard to appear like a tough lady, in front of you
Oh, I still remember, last semester final exam, how did I nag at you over a long phone call.
Why you should forget about that bloody guy. Of course I won't call him a man, I'm still pissed off at him, making my bestie miserable until now.
Silly brat. Pui.

Yeah, you may say, I'm not in your shoes and you are not me, that cold fickle big heart lady.
*Scoff*
Yeah, you do know my stories, how long we've been knowing each other  pal?
7 years and counting.
I may be harsh on you whenever you asked for my opinion.
I did try the comforting method, but I don't know if you tolerate it well.
Because few weeks after that you came back to me with a shattered heart. That broken pieces again and again.
I'm sorry for I have hurted you last time we'd messages.
I'm not good at handling emotions, and you know sulking with me would be fruitless.
I rarely crawl back to people.
Sorry, I regret what I have done.
This hard little icy friend of yours.

Oh, pertaining of you can laugh at me.
There was this quote, I found over the internet.

And you-know-who-I-talked-about,
Nah, maybe I can only let if go once he married someone else.
The bride is not me. That's I'm certain.

Erm, my apology for I had hurt you? I did, didn't I.

Heh, siapa nak Ayat balik ???

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