Caged Enrage | Madness

Have you ever feel like killing someone?

Murderous thought which doesn't make self being your own victim.

Nope, I do not have any suggestive vote on suicide but sometimes,

we do wanna kill a human?

If and only if such act is legal.

If and only if human is merely pest.

If and only if we could do anything what we want (to practice animal-ish life).

Hahah!

I don't always get mad at people to extent of getting rid them off my face near instant...

Nope, I don't.

Last time I was too mad at someone was in 2008,

too occupied in inexpressive anger that made me cried instead.

Plain idiot.

Why must crying represent weakness?

Feeling weak and vulnerable for crying over anger is pure idiocy.

I loathe frail character.

After these very 7 years,

a frail character managed to snap my sane.

Doesn't she know I barely keep my sane intact, eh!

Nah, ain't barely keeping sane but patience intact.

She tested my patience well. Kudos!

Picture a frail character, soft spoken voice, a lady-like suave tied to a bull-headed stubbornness.

Read that bull-headed stubbornness as an unnecessary being stubborn at wrong time, so called being independent almost every wrong occasions.

Ahah!

I hate your guts. I hate your attitude of fragile facade.

Because behind that cotton candy coating, there is a BS core within.

Hahah!

By this moment, I have low tolerance to BS.

It is okay for me if you admit your BS attitude or behaviour to my face,

but to fake it and being pretentious,

I really wanna punch that 'pretty face' of yours saying,

"Cut all craps, I know your game. Save it for others who doesn't know, yet."

So I admit, "I'm fake and hypocrite too."

No pretense.

Sadly, not everyone could walk their fake mask proud on hallway or to flaunt it on runway.

I may be a smug with too many BS and confidence.

But, please drop your facade.

I read your moves even before you mill churns anything.

Oh! I was judged too and being compared to you. LOL

When I have this happy-go-lucky image, went all funky easy going friendly with others,

you got this stuck up preserving 'ikhtilat' facade, the most lady like,

the most wanted 'in-law' anyone could ever get.

Trust me,

I stuck around you enough to know your theories and practicals on surviving life is near zero.

When I thought I am an ignoramus smug,

girl, why do you beat my title to lack common sense and being an ignorant at the same time.

Though I have to credit you because it is due,

"Girl, you love to trouble yourself with BLOODSHOT unnecessary things (read: helping others who doesn't even need your help but using you instead)."

Should I spit "padan muka" for not setting your priority right or "padan muka" for being too courteous with manipulating human.

Sadly, 

I tried to straighten you up many times,

being supportive and all before I realise,

you bring upon all these dooms to yourself.

Your choice.

Thus, do have fun with your imaginary scoliosis, girl.

I don't know who could knock any sense into your head.

Trying to calm down,

post 2 days of annoyance.

Misguided,

Lighthouse.

---

Heh, siapa nak Ayat balik ???

---

How to Love Like a Brat...

Oh, Jeez!

If I know to love in the first place.

I had this quote, can't remember if I get it from someone,

but it has been on my facebook for years.

"Love yourself first before you love someone."

Almost sound promoting let's being a narcist,

with a condition of having capability to love others.

hahah!

I misspelled the title at first,

Hot to Love Like a Brat. Ceh! Sometimes, brats are hot.

That hotness may be sourced from their cocky confidence.

Since being confident is sexy, and sexy is quite a deal (ahem!)

Thus, Hot to Love Like a Brat is possible but ladies and lads,

let me remind you that you had jumped into a miserable love life.

Flaming burning love which may burn items to crisp.

Why did I write this?

It has come to my amazement that almost every week (if I check this blog's statistic),

keywords lead to this blog related to,

"Ayat mengayat perempuan"

"Mengayat makwe""Kekasih lama""Gila bayang"

OMG, please move on.

and yes, they are all related to how to court girls (maybe ladies).

Poor lads,

who did you try to woo so bad till you need lessons to get a significant other?

Well, we could blame girls/ladies for playing hard to get,

pertaining with a concept in mind,

"I don't want to appear cheap"

Err, hello miss! Human do not have a price tag. Unless you were involve in any human trafficking scheme.

God Forbid! Nauzubillah.

From my point of view (successfully maintained being single for almost a quarter of century),

with a disclaimer that every woman behaves almost alike but hell they think differently, bloody fickle and could flip table a second after giving you a peck on left cheek (hahha!).

My observation,

we tend to fall for human's attitude (men in this case), sugary talks work charm too.

An exception for a rich man, may attract gold diggers or materialistic if he is blind to seduction.

I do not know what rich man would think (for God sake!)

Since I mentioned women behave accordingly to their taste and what not,

they fall for good attitude,

or at first blinded with a good behaviour facade a jackass may play during courting.

Or some would say, courting is an act, play decent character just to get laid.

True to that if you just want a one night stand, people!

And again, for one to search for a spouse to spend their life, attitude is important.

Did stumble upon quite a few men,

complaining over why that schmucks get (marry) that pretty girl, laid a decent wife material.

Sure do, men.

Most of the couples that I met,

the one who got a good wife, they are pretty decent too.

Well behave, less patriarchal (maybe) because the point is; those guys do not act like a snob to woo females.

Get my point?

You want to get married?

Drop your stupid ego to act like a playboy.

Yes, confident is sexy to woo like how buzzing bees pit stopping at flowers.

Ayat mengayat perempuan?

Being honest?

Like, admit your flaws if you have. We are all human, if she loves you enough of course she would accept your everything.

Let you be her everything.

Stop the act. Do not act. Fix what attitude one should fix (this goes for men and women).

Frankly speaking,

up to my sleeves, I don’t have any tips on how to mengayat perempuan.

I do not really like sugary talks or flattery over my physical qualities.

Not a wheedle I am, definitely not an arse kisser.

But some women fall for those cheesy lines.

My advice? Study your love of interest right.

Choose your card right.

Love is not a gamble.

Love is not a game. These are phrases I used to use:

"Have a taste of my game!""Welcome to my league!""Can't take the heat, bug off!"

only used them when I was mad at men's fickleness. Haha. Mean prick, I know that.

Why are you single until now?

My fair share of interests are hard to reach by most people that I know (bore me or easily predictable)

Need constant excitement from a brainiac.

But most of all had a trust issue. HAHAHA.

Laugh me off. Seriously, women need assurance.

Pen's down. Ciao.

Moga dapat mengayat bakal isteri.

p/s: now playing: Mengintai Langit by Coco

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Heh, siapa nak Ayat balik ???

---

How to Live Like a Total Brat

... with screwed views on love.

I could hardly remember when I started having this notion,

"Say NO to puppy love!"

"No dating until you'd done studying."

Those kinds of chants or principles I would denote them so.

Maybe yes and maybe not.

It started when I was a kid.

Was a less girlish back then, when was little.

To climb trees, jumping from one branch to another, to play around with boys,

extreme level of hide and seek till got a jab of tetanus shot for rusty nails prick.

Ah!

I did burn one of mom's Tupperware collection.

We were playing cooking with real fire,

boiling water for drinks, out of curiosity I burnt a plastic container with a pure stupidity plastic would not melt.

No, the crime scene was behind a post office, next to our neighbourhood.

People say stuff like don't shit where you eat.

Muahaha!

That could explain much our parents still not know about that menace (maybe or they stay shut?)

Loss count to how many mirrors I had broken for my experiments with fire and cold water.

*they are the mirrors one could get on round-shaped back in the 90s sharpener*

Not that I had too many boys friend but it was not a cute and cuddly childhood.

Let alone rebellious phase.

*I miss Along, he was my neighbour's cousin. All I could remember is he was in green school uniform (KRS?)*

Then I entered primary education.

Was a bully. Standard two, were separated from bully gang ended up studying in nerdy class.

Primary school's memory we are not all rainbows and sunshine.

I was sluggish, heck yeah!

Filled with angst and ignorance.

Living in own world, hardly could mingle (being a PTS student was quite a curse)

Don't really fit in. Back in those years,

I learnt;

1. Pretty girl will be wooed by boys
2. Students favours over teacher
3. Hitting puberty is another hell (for others)
4. I don't really miss those years.

Hard to admit but maybe those earlier notions I got when I saw those pretty girls lingering around puppy love didn't really succeed.

*That was my school, I do not know about yours*

Those maybe the years when silently anarchism creeping in.

Hahha!

but I do, I don't do much wheedle hardly I flatter people for my advantages.

Why would I? Kissing arse is not something to be proud of.

Or maybe I was jealous that I'm not pretty neat enough back then?

HAHAHA. Nope, not a pinch.

Still, the same scenario keep repeating itself in high school.

Those pretty girls, kissing arse flock, I chose to become a PRS.

The safest choice?

Anyhow,

what is up with puppy love?

Are they really harmful?

I watched two movies tonight: If I Stay (laptop) and Flipped on DIVA.

They made me think if I could grow up once again,

would I try to fall in love at early age?

With this mind now; NO I do not want to grow up once again, a mistake is a mistake.

Must dang girl learn well from it or learn from others' mistakes.

We ain't live that long.

This thought left me wonder,

what would I have become if I had a lover or a few before.

Must be funny, I would be damaged than I am.

Imagine this,

without puppy love or several heartbreaks,

my view on love is way too screwed.

Had trust issue for a trust is to gain.

Well, had a few crushes before but they are all almost smart, witty, charismatic people.

Another curse: a sapiosexual.

Being a so called PRS, I witnessed and lent too many shoulders for beloveds' heartbreaks.

May have glued their broken pieces of hearts.

May have curse or mock some of those guys.

Yeah, another notion of mine.

Don't mess with my girls; I'll let you suffer on death bed (figuratively) pondering your wrongdoings.

Hehe.

So, here I am.

Still with screwed views on love.

Considering whom should I believe and give my trust.

Who could surpass this imaginary wonder wall of mine.

If I wasn't a dry heart jerk, might perform as a well lived playgirl back in those days.

Thank God for these hardened principles.

Status: thinking who worth to spent time, thought, effort, money, heart, prayers on.

Hahha!

p/s: hurted tongue, munched too much M&M :(

---

Heh, siapa nak Ayat balik ???

---

Words in .jpg Format

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

I've been thinking, what else could I do to prevent this mind from becoming dull.

Well, if one (the one) read this, one must know where this title was inspired.

Well, again. You inspired me in a way.

Ah, thank Lord for being a mature human, at your age.

It was fun, it is fun, still.

And dear God, please grant him some speed in typing.

Though I shall admit, I do type fast but prone to make tons of typo (typing error).

Just on another note, I won't commit any typo if I was talking about serious matter.

For an example, I was trying hard to woo you?

Hahaha.

Now,

let's heed an image below.

***

Since internet is super slow over exceeding usage of bandwidth,

Shall share the quote,

if one shall denote them as a quote,

even if they deserved to be called as a quote,

the point is,

random thing found over internet but I adore it so,

ended up saving the images and I'm sharing it's gem with humans.

(contemplating if bots would read this blog, ah, beggar can't choose!)

ONE OF THEHARDESTDECISIONSYOU'LL EVERFACE IN LIFEIS CHOOSINGWHETHERTO WALKAWAY ORTRY HARDER.

Above is one of the images saved because they are interesting.

Sometimes, being fickle does not mean one cannot make a choice but has a problem which would satisfy his needs or which would please people around.

If I were to justify being fickle over things.

But most of the times, 

I'd know what I want.

An example again, I would go bold by saying,

"I want you."

with a straight bitch resting face, expressionless cold tone... after 5 seconds one could find me running away because of shame.

LOL.

But, what is courage?

Courage or Boldness?

Err, it depends. I don't know what sentences should I ramble to justify my random acts of boldness,

but

unfortunately the writer does wear her heart on sleeves.

One time confession is not enough? Enough?

Said an almost genius Kahlil Gibran, 

"Try, failed. Try harder, failed better.""Wait until you find someone who worth more than 3 tries."

giving me more points to ponder.

Hahha, I doooooo ponder a lot over your advises, *maybe*

:)

Till this day, date and time.

I'm still wondering if I should give up or try harder.

Even though I did remark your opinions with,

"One must know when to quit."

To counter self defense,

"One will not quit if one worth it?"

*I'm puzzled honestly*

Being practical over things,

weighing in this age, where shall find such human that could intrigue me enough,

to fight but to reconcile later,

to sulk but to crawl back sooner,

to dote and to love better?

Auwww!

*Hush*

My almost endless rant point is,

I have a lot of words in .jpg format.

Maybe could enjoy eye feasting at art gallery?

(I've been dying to sight seeing at Balai Seni Negara since forever but until now have no reason)

Reason why images are more tempting than words?

"If I rely on words, I'll be moving or circling around the ideas of the words.""Gimme pictures, I could see thing in various point of views."

See? My perception is better if it appears in form of image or at least I could picture it in mind.

I'm good at building concepts in mind.

*Imagine Iron Man 3 during the mind mapping scene*

I claim mine is better. Kahkah!

Power of imagination, honey.

Decent imagination? Double Kahkah! 

p/s: SPEAK OF THE DEVIL!

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Heh, siapa nak Ayat balik ???

---

Boneka Ais Kering

120506122014

Perasaan sekarang tak tahu nak cakap apa.
Macam kena tipu ada,
dipermainkan pun ada.
Tapi untuk ditipu dan dipermainkan, mesti ada saham salah aku jugak kan?
Haruslah, tak boleh penat untuk salahkan diri sendiri dulu.
Dan kerja buat tingkahlaku ada balasannya.
Jadi, selepas salahkan diri sendiri.
Kita, kita mula bodohkan diri sendiri, dalam erti kata mengaku yang diri ni jahil (tidak tahu),
pilih untuk jahil (untuk tidak mengambil tahu),
kerana menjadi 'ignorant' sudah terlalu dibanggakan dan dibiasakan.
Perihal yang terbiasakan,
salah diri juga. Semua salah diri sebelum salahkan orang lain.
Itu sahaja.

Rasional tak tahu nak rasa apa selepas tertipu.
Untuk diri,
siapa suruh mudah percaya orang bulat-bulat.
Sekarang dah meremang bulu roma rasa bungkam dalam dada.
Rasa yang memberat, dada yang bergolak hebat.
Bergolak tidak tahu mahu rasanya apa.
Rasa diperbodohkan tidak seronok. Tidak enak.
Dan, untuk dibodohkan perlu beri percaya buta dahulu, sebelum tunding jari kepada penipu?
Mungkin sahaja aku boleh gelar dia, mereka, topeng-topeng kaca; tukang layar terbaik abad ini.
Aku pula boneka di layar merah, dipetakan rentak oleh tari tukang layar tadi.
Mungkin ini rasa Didi dalam aA+bB.
Mungkin ini rasa dipermainkan selepas kita bagi percaya dan kejujuran.
Rasa yang selepas menaip baris patah-patah teratas.
Rasa yang telah kutemu.
Rasa pahit, lebih pahit dari hempedu.

Jie,
ayat semalam makan prinsip aku kembali.

Jie,
"Menanam konsep redha dalam diri dan hati."
"Pahit pun boleh telan, kan?"
"Sedang dalam diri pun memang ada elemen pahit, hempedu, 'bile acid'."
"Apalah sangat pahit rasa emosi."

Jie,
sahaja aku telan kembali empat ayat yang terluah, semalam.
Pahit.

Terima kasih, Tuhan. Untuk pengajaran yang tidak putus datang.
Sayang, terima kasih. DugaMu tanda sayang.
Bersangka baik dengan Tuhan.
Bertahan kerana berTuhan.
Dan ini malam aku telan segala prinsip yang pernah dilaungkan; lantang.

---

Heh, siapa nak Ayat balik ???

---

Sepatah

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

Rasa, dah patut mulakan tabiat jawab soalan manusia sepatah-sepatah.

Kecuali soalan anak-anak saudara,

minda kanak-kanak sedang berkembang memang akan banyak bertanya.

Ibarat iklan susu formula di televisyen,

"Menggalakkan sambungan neuron-neuron otak."

Tapi adik-beradik dulu, membesar dengan susu cap gantung, wakaka.

Sebab anak Mama ni memilih tak nak minum susu lembu,

anak Mama ni anak manusia berlagaknya.

Allah!

Habis, engko ingat yang suap anak-anak kecil mereka dengan susu formula tu sengaja bagi minum susu lembu?

Susu kambing?

Ah, kalau susu kucing boleh dieksploitasi,

susu kucing pun orang niagakan, mungkin.

Sebab pernah jumpa manusia yang memandang sinis akan ibu muda yang memberi minum anak dalam botol.

Bodoh. Sepatah. Untuk prejudis.

Bebal. Sepatah. Untuk skeptik.

Cubalah berfikiran baik tentang manusia, (husnuzhon).

Mana tahu dalam botol tu susu perahan ke?

Mana tahu si ibu sudah kekeringan sampai tak boleh menyusu anak sendiri?

Tambah lagi ibu beranak sulung,

engko ingat boleh keluar terus macam coklat mencurah ke ladang gandum?

Nah, bodoh dan bebal sebab cepat menghukum.

*seronok berlagak jadi Tuhan, bukan*

Tapi, sebagai perempuan bujang yang mungkin dilabel bebal bodoh kemudian hari, 

"Sudahlah bujang, ada hati punya nafsu nak nasihatkan kami yang berkeluarga."
"Maaf, kakak, ibu sekalian. Saya minta bersangka baik sahaja."

Dah kalau si ibu sengaja bagi anak susu formula dari umur sehari lagi, nak cakap apa?

Engko istighfar, senyum dan mula perlahan-lahan buat suara hasutan,

"Eh, you tak tahu ker? Kalau anak menyusu badan, body you akan cepat lansing?! OMG, I love your body..."

Alar, biarlah bunyi bimbo ker gedik semacam,

tapi niat nak menghasut supaya si ibu tadi beri susu badan ke anak,

apa salahnya.

Mengeratkan hubungan antara anak-ibu, kot.

inshaAllah tak jadi kejadian kurang kasih sayang keluarga,

err,

tak tahu. Tapi doanya begitu.

Berbalik kepada persoalan asal.

Dulu, iya.

Memang jawab soalan manusia sepatah-sepatah.

Sehinggalah ter-berkenalan dengan seketul hamba Tuhan enam tahun lepas.

Ter?

Sebab tak jangka penghujung kami begini.

Dia sebuah sejarah dan pengajaran. 

Syukur juga,

Tuhan letak takdir di awal aku kenal dunia, aku kenal dia.

Dia yang pernah menjadi 'crush', kahkah.

Gelaklah.

Dia yang aku rasa bukan cinta, sejenis obsesi sahaja.

Dia yang di mata sekarang, seperti kembar Abah versi muda.

Dia yang hadir selepas Abah tiada.

Dia yang mengajar diri menaip ejaan penuh kurang etika rempit.

(Zaman SMS tengah rancak, semua vokal konsonan dicantas)

Jadi, berasbabkan dia kaki drama,

suka jelaskan apa-apa panjang lebar sampai habis aksara 1 muka surat SMS.

Belajar daripada dia.

Takkan orang taip mesej panjang-panjang kita nak balas sepatah, kan?

Dah lah dalam satu mesej, ada 3-4 soalan dia bedil.

Terdidik menjadi teliti dalam membalas, penuh penerangan dan kadang terjangkit perangai kaki drama dia.

Mr Pujangga. Kelewang.

Dia sejenis 'unrequited love' selama 5-6 tahun, 

sampai hampir semua manusia yang muncul depan mata cuba-cuba rasa,

aku akan bandingkan dengan dia.

Gila!

Gila, bukan?

Iya, dia bukan cinta.

Cuma sejenis obsesi diri yang buta tentang hidup dan rasa.

Dia ibarat malaikat pelindung yang mengelakkan diri daripada menjadi seekor 'playgirl' pemunah rasa lelaki yang berjaya.

Walau tak dinafikan, hampir suku abad hidup,

hampir 10 orang dah 'confess' dan ditolak bodoh-bodoh kerana dia.

Hahaha. 

Bodoh sungguh.

Tapi, itulah.

Kalau jodoh tak ke mana.

Dia di mana sekarang?

Dia masih ada, mengajar di hulu sana.

Sekarang berkeputusan untuk putuskan hubungan obsesi tak cerdik ini.

Makin waras,

Alhamdulillah.

Sudah tidak membanding semua lelaki kepadanya.

Putus kerana sudah tidak punya sebab untuk berhubungan lagi.

Hendak bertanya khabar, tidak tahu rasa.

Janggal. 

Ralat.

Dia sendiri sudah tidak menyebut nama.

Hanya seketul "Dia" jika dia tertanya khabarku kepada kawan kami.

Terima kasih, Tuhan.

Kerana menggerakkan hati hambaMu nan jahil ini untuk kenal dengannya.

Ramadhan 2008.

Sedang berlatih membalas persoalan manusia, sepatah-sepatah.

Sekarang aku rasa, 

bebelan panjang tiada makna.

Coretan panjang, terlalu kisah gayanya.

Sedang membancuh simen untuk konkritkan hati dengan pujuk rayu manusia.

Soft sides (sisi lembut) dah banyak kali terpijak, dipijakkan. 

Penat.

Penat memberi perhatian.

Bukan untuk dihargai,

cuma penat.

Diri ini manusia, bukan malaikat.

Jaga Diri, Jaga Iman, Jaga Tatasusila

:: Salam Satu Aqidah! ::

p/s: moga Tuhan memberkati hidup matimu.

---

Heh, siapa nak Ayat balik ???

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To Grow Old Together

Assalamualaikum w.b.t...

Dengan perasaan 'obliged to post at least an entry per month', 

here I am.

To grow old together or to grow up together?

To reach maturity together?

Hat mencapai kematangan macam susah je, sebab parameter matang tak objektif,

pembolehubah pula manusia,

buat sakit hati je pakai misi "Menuju Kematangan Bersama".

Tak logik pun ada jugak,

dah macam slogan hari kemerdekaan...

Oh,

tadi terfikir pasal ni tengah kunyah semangkuk bertih jagung sambil tukar siaran antara RunningMan dan The Return of Superman.

Kahkah.

Tak pernah sehayat ni menghadap 'Korean Variety Shows" sampai habis,

oh!

'lost in the middle of story again'

Malam tadi episod nenek dan atuk Sarang bawa pergi berenang, lepas tu depa ada sesi foto sekeluarga.

Cemburu.

Sebabnya sebelum abah pergi kemain ler orang bising cakap nak ambil foto keluarga tapi tak sempat, gitulah.

Takdir namanya.

Akibatnya,

to grow old together sounds fun.

Tapi, hal ajal ni tak boleh ramal beb.

Maka,

misi paling realistik:

To make fortune together?

Hahah!

Jangan ler tuduh mata duitan...

Ingat rezki dalam bentuk harta benda je ker?

Anak yang soleh rezki jugak, err,

dapat zuriat pun dah sejenis rezki.

Hidup yang aman pun rezki.

Lagi lah hidup yang mudah.

Namun apalah seorang Muslim kalau tidak diuji apa lagi jika setelah mengaku beriman.

Ehem!

Haa,

kisahnya?

Misi paling realistik adalah:

To make fortune together. 

Muahaha.

Motif gelak?

Nak kurangkan ke-serius-an hal rezki tadi.

Oh, lupa lagi.

Kadang kita akan pandang hidup orang lain,

Ya Tuhan ya Robbi senangnya...

Hakikatnya bukan kita tahu,

how many hell rides he has taken,

how many miles has he walked in those shoes, err, figuratively.

How much tears he has shed.

Spice up a bit,

sebab air mata secara literal adalah benar.

Agak-agaklah nak pakai ayat anak jantan tak (boleh) menangis.

Kang datang puak #yizlumik persoalkan,

"Apa kau tidak pernah menangis kerana dosa-dosa kau?"

Well, burn, baby burn!

Sebelum merepek lebih panjang,

hikmah cerita lompat sana sini.

Do your best to get his bless. 

;)

Jaga Diri, Jaga Iman, Jaga Matlamat

:: Salam Satu Aqidah! ::

p/s: dah lupa nak tulis apa tadi sebab sibuk cari imej. -..-

---

Heh, siapa nak Ayat balik ???

---

Messed Up Rhyme Freak and Ramadan

From a rhyme freak to a rhyme freak,

after having a mug of hazelnut coffee and green tea,

these sentences rhyme no more, please don't squeak,

accusing me self-proclaim a rhyme way far from neat,

till this entry written, all sound-alike vocab fleet,

pardon me, wasting your time try to match beats,

bit by bit ideas fade,

yet I still rambling this horrendous enunciate...

Ah, screw this!

Err, Err.

Saya suka Err,

Awak patut tahu.

Like a quote which I don't bother to trace its source,

"To Err is Human, To Forgive is Divine."

Yep, 

that's that,

should suffice to justify excessive usage of err and I'm a human.

*scoff*

Motif sangat tetiba di belakang minda (at the back of mind),

terngiang lagu Human by Christina Perri.

Dah datang pulak alter ego sat sat tengah menaip,

apsal terngiang lagu, bukan ayat Quran di malam Ramadan yang suci lagi mulia.

Err.

Err tu sejenis verb (kata kerja); to make a mistake or to be incorrect.

Diikutkan niat murni sebab menulis blog tulis, apa-apa kena ada motif dan berpengajaran *scoff*,

Ramadan ni bulan keampunan.

Sekian.

Hahah, boleh kena tendang ke penjuru rumah kalau gitu je akhirnya.

Jujurnya,

dah mengarut sangat ni,

melampau-lampau karutnya.

Kait balik hal Err tadi,

dah kata manusia,

Yaa Ay yuhallazi na'amanu... (ehem! perasan beriman sangat)

Saya minta maaf kalau ada salah silap sepanjang kenal dengan awak-awak-awak dan awak...

Salah awak? 

Ahiks!

*patut kena lempang gelak gedik gitu masa sesi bermaafan*

Iyer, saya maafkan segalanya.

Simpan marah, dendam ker kekesalan *eceh* bukannya dapat faedah interest rate 6% setahun.

Hurm,

it's okay, let it go.

Kalau pendam tak tenang.

Jadi, kita kosong-kosong.

Maaf lagi saya dingin (cold) dulu,

tak biasa. :)

Diakhiri repekan tanpa arah tujuan ibarat ular kena palu ini dengan sebuah pantun,

Apa diracik pinang setalam,

Kapur mengeras sebelum jamu,

Apa dikenang silap semalam,

Maaf dipinta tulus darimu.

Kahkah!

Jangan maki, tolong jangan.

p/s: takde p/s :P

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Heh, siapa nak Ayat balik ???

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Mushy Cheesy | 1.0 Version

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.
Sisi gelap seorang perempuan ego asalnya,
Perempuan yang kononnya tak reti bicara manis-manis indah-indah beralasankan;
saya cuma tulis apa yang saya tahu, dan apalah cerita romantis bagi perempuan berhati beku.
Kukuh bukan alasan perempuan itu.
Sehinggalah penemuan blog kawan twitter,
Lalu perempuan itu merasa terkesima atas kebolehan berbahasa puitis romantis lelaki itu.
Ego yang belum dikambus dalam tanah, hati dia terdetik;
Alar, lelaki, 'sweet talk' itu bukankah kebolehan semulajadi mereka…
*cebik-cebik berlagak sexist*
Masih berpaksikan ego tanpa hujung,
dengan tip yang diberikan oleh beliau, ehem! *kekening*
tulis ayat gula-gula itu mudah jika sedang melayan perasaan, atau 'in mood'.
Cubaan pertama cheesy mushy.
Awak,
Saya dah letak tepi dah ego saya ni.
Ye lah, ada ego membukit pun bukannya boleh bawa kenyang,
tapi saya tinggalkan sebesar busut,
kalau-kalau kita gaduh nanti,
Takde lah saya kena maki disalahkan sebab ego berkren kena angkut selepas bukit diletup.
***
Hahaha. Ya Tuhan.
I've tried writing this mushy version lebih sebulan setengah.
Dalam Evernote, sampai lupa nak sambung.
Sebenarnya, tak mampu nak sambung.
Sebab geli.
Kesiannya…
Nampak gaya,
Maaf, mungkin projek Mushy Cheesy version takkan ada 'update' selamanya.
Sangkut dan bermula dari 1.0 dan kekal jadi 1.0…
Tabik hormat lah,
I really can't.
And rereading silly so called mushy entries I drafted, apparently,
They are not corny at all.
Poor soul.
Tak apa lah.
Saya tak reti nak jiwang-jiwang, sweet sweet tu kadang-kadang je jadi. Tak boleh nak reka jadi entry,
Kalau buat spontaneous kat memember,
Hiks, am good kay.
Erm. Member, that's why.
And thank you for saying it is fun to have a long thread with me.
I convo nanti datang lah yer.
Tak dapat apa-apa, dapat jumpa I je lah. Hahaha.
Since the chance was blown last weekend.

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Heh, siapa nak Ayat balik ???

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Drawn A Line

Kau tahu perasaan macam bodoh tu macam mana?

Like you have known someone for a very long time, exceeded 5 years of course.

One day, you get along together and catch up some missed thing while both of you were gone or separated.

This thought always bother me,

And it bothers me bad.

I don't know whether I was missing the memories or missing the person I had the memories with.

Or I was just missing my oldself?

It is hard when you found out after the meet up, it is you that have changed, not the other party.

For I to feel bad missing the old me more than the memories or the people inside.

I'm confused.

I can't settle my feelings.

Sure, as a way to comfort,

I could say, everybody would grow up one day.

One day.

And I was just grow up or grew out of my own self.

Blergh. Not a cool thing to reminisce early in the morning.

A boggle is still boggling and I can't let this thought aside.

Mister,

I'm sorry. I'm not the one I used to be.

Took it for maturity or you were mature since the day we knew.

It is sad. Hahah. Sure, everything won't be the same. No.

But it breaks me seeing you didn't change.

You are good to stay same ol fella like before. And yeah, I blame myself for unable to cheer you up like before.

Life is hard. Sorry.

Like a touche my playlist is playing My Life Would Suck Without You // Kelly Clarkson, just after I've finnished typing this.

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Heh, siapa nak Ayat balik ???

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An Uptight Lady

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

160314.

It's going to be an English rant version of an article or an entry to make it less formal.

Warning, I might break any writing rules (article) if any.

What is an uptight lady? One must not mistaken uptight with a stuck up.

To answer the latter, I would suggest all of you to watch a movie entitled Easy A, there is a character called Marianne. That kind of person would explain to you well what a stuck up lady is.

In the viewer point of view, she may appear stuck up in term of religious act and piety.

An uptight character usually built over time.

The miracle does not happen in a blink of eyes because you could confuse about being uptight with a woman's mood swing. Blame the hormones once a month or just blame the individual to throw her tantrum as long as she lives.

Uptight people have principles. Rarely being indecisive and always know what she wants.

Like a chant I used to adore and always a dear to heart is,

"Play hard, work hard."

Those four words could simply said, when she is in game

 "Game is on, baby! Come cry to me after I beat you."

During any serious discussion or work, she would put her mind and focus on it. This sound too workaholic, but that is just how she rolls. She would appear unplayful and totally sober to get her job done. As if she was stranded in a desert, while wandering for a town to settle then ease her thirst, along the journey she found an oasis but the town was 100 meters away from the oasis.

What do you think she would do?

Has a quick pit stop to quench the thirst or walk straight into town?

Well, an uptight lady would have no halt and keep walking to the town. Her target is the town; quenching thirst is not the aim, a sub-aim perhaps.

To some people, "What a ridiculous person she is!" kind of thought might arise right now as you may think, there is no harm to stop and get some drink.

But, before you decide to ridicule her decision, she could concentrate better at her objective instead of led astray (the oasis).

Why an uptight character built over time?
It is because of the way she was brought up and what kind of environment she has grew out. Is she from a lay-back family, a less strict family or a strict-to-core kind of family? The intermediate is the one, of course.

When you stumble upon an uptight lady, it does not mean she is always a dead pan serious. No. She has principles (reminder!), thus she has a stance. A striker maybe and could be your pain the arse opponent if ever encountered in fight.

Imagine to rule over a tough cookie. Somehow, a cookie is a cookie with her soft spot and sweetness. Just need right solution to melt down.

All hail guys, the one that able to melt this kind of lady instead of feeling intimidated by her personality. For those who cannot, a pure condolence since being uptight is a persona.

(Sounds bias here)

Above descriptions are quite heavenly and here comes the hell side of her.

To be intimidated by others is not a nice feeling. The other people may perceive her as a no fun human to hang or work with.

Common argument,

"Why can't you have some fun while doing things?"

"She is so serious; don't crack a joke at a wrong time."

"She is bossy!"

The last comment is hurtful. She could be a good leader instead of getting insulted by snide bossy remark. 

Play hard, work hard honey. Play with me when there is a game to participate. I would be the most joyful playmate, err, minus some competitive traits.

A lady she is, sometimes, this kind of uptight lady decided she would rather be a follower than a leader or a boss. She is afraid of crossing limit during directing any activity as a head.

Let me ask you again, will not this kind of talent the lady have would be wasted since she decided to step down and give ways to other lad to do the leading job?

What kind of leader would you love to have?

A dilly-dallier or a head in the game one kind of leader would you prefer? Do not you think her talent is squandered?

Be a wise, please do not feel intimidated if the wrong doers are you; clash of interests within an organization.

God, how I wish people could voice out their opinion and able to make a decision without stirring muddy water.

A confession, the writer is an uptight person.

Hahha.

Need no penny for this thought. 

Cheers!

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Heh, siapa nak Ayat balik ???

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