The Other Side

Drawn A Line

Kau tahu perasaan macam bodoh tu macam mana?

Like you have known someone for a very long time, exceeded 5 years of course.
One day, you get along together and catch up some missed thing while both of you were gone or separated.
This thought always bother me,
And it bothers me bad.
I don't know whether I was missing the memories or missing the person I had the memories with.
Or I was just missing my oldself?
It is hard when you found out after the meet up, it is you that have changed, not the other party.
For I to feel bad missing the old me more than the memories or the people inside.
I'm confused.
I can't settle my feelings.

Sure, as a way to comfort,
I could say, everybody would grow up one day.
One day.
And I was just grow up or grew out of my own self.
Blergh. Not a cool thing to reminisce early in the morning.
A boggle is still boggling and I can't let this thought aside.

I'm sorry. I'm not the one I used to be.
Took it for maturity or you were mature since the day we knew.
It is sad. Hahah. Sure, everything won't be the same. No.
But it breaks me seeing you didn't change.
You are good to stay same ol fella like before. And yeah, I blame myself for unable to cheer you up like before.

Life is hard. Sorry.
Like a touche my playlist is playing My Life Would Suck Without You // Kelly Clarkson, just after I've finnished typing this.

Heh, siapa nak Ayat balik ???

Dear you.

Remember when I laughed at you after you said you can't move on from your past love, or crush per se.
Yeah, I still laugh at it because in my point of view, that bloody guy does not deserve your attention at all, not a pinch.
And remember when I said, how good I am at tolerating my old interest and now I'm not feeling anything towards him?
Well, you can laugh at me back.
Hahaha. Silly me.
Trying so hard to appear like a tough lady, in front of you
Oh, I still remember, last semester final exam, how did I nag at you over a long phone call.
Why you should forget about that bloody guy. Of course I won't call him a man, I'm still pissed off at him, making my bestie miserable until now.
Silly brat. Pui.

Yeah, you may say, I'm not in your shoes and you are not me, that cold fickle big heart lady.
Yeah, you do know my stories, how long we've been knowing each other  pal?
7 years and counting.
I may be harsh on you whenever you asked for my opinion.
I did try the comforting method, but I don't know if you tolerate it well.
Because few weeks after that you came back to me with a shattered heart. That broken pieces again and again.
I'm sorry for I have hurted you last time we'd messages.
I'm not good at handling emotions, and you know sulking with me would be fruitless.
I rarely crawl back to people.
Sorry, I regret what I have done.
This hard little icy friend of yours.

Oh, pertaining of you can laugh at me.
There was this quote, I found over the internet.

And you-know-who-I-talked-about,
Nah, maybe I can only let if go once he married someone else.
The bride is not me. That's I'm certain.

Erm, my apology for I had hurt you? I did, didn't I.

Heh, siapa nak Ayat balik ???

To Judge or Not To Judge | Friends

Hey honey.

There there.
I'm recapping last year convocation ceremony and I was attending it to meet my coursemate.
Not my coursemate only, anyone I knew who were graduating last year.
Came with my housemates; joyfully for them and having a bit a jealousy for not able to graduate with them.
Oh, please.
Am grateful, a fate is a fate, and my destiny is planned better by Him. That small piece of envy is normal. Not self destructing enough to feel inferior towards them.

Err, the point is,
Before entering the big glamourous Dectar hall, one of my housemate pointed out to me,

"Ya, tu kawan ang…"
"Eh, mana?" I asked because I was too lazy to put on spectacle.
"Tu, yang tudung labuh tu, kawan ang la tu kan?"
"Apsal asal tudung labuh je kawan aku?"
"Dah tu, kawan siapa lagi…".

Ohkay, there I was taken aback.

Err. The dialogue is getting there.
Bear with me, tend to lost in track.

What I'm trying to say is,
when people sometimes question me,
"Why are you not as pious as your friends?"
"Which friend?" If I may asked, try to pull an oblivious trick.

Now, here comes the thought. I see.
That friends.

My bestfriend from highschool told me, when I asked them that kind of question.
Nags her,
"You are happy go lucky inside, who can blame that."
Thank you, Love.

Admit a sinner,
Sinfully, a sinner in past and future.
Not that I'm planning to do any sinful act but,
As a human being,
I can't help myself commiting sin and my Imaan is up and down.
Not an angel nor a maksum messenger,

No, I don't have a very religious background.
Was a rebel, was a naughty kid, until this time,
Old habits die hard eyy.

Oh Gosh, please get to the point.
My point is, please don't compare my appearance or behaviour with the friends mentioned above.
Am a humble gato myself,
*Inself pleadful Puss in Boots here*
I have flaws, loads of them,
Some skeletons I kept them locked deep inside the closet.
Yeah, they prone to do a bloody rituals and curse a nightmare,
dragging present self into past.

A sinful me,
Trying hard to improve this thinning state of Imaan.

Yes, remind me if I seem was led astray,
Or too lagha *sounds Islamic huh?*
Choose a correct phrasing.
The outer facade doesn't come packaged with a hard rock inside.
Slow talk to me, honey.
Tell me what were wrongs.
For God sake,
Do what I wish for everyone you want to advice.
They will appreciate it.

A point to ponder, does your friends really reflect who you are?
Tell me.

Pen's down. Figuratively.

Heh, siapa nak Ayat balik ???

An Uptight Lady

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.


It's going to be an English rant version of an article or an entry to make it less formal.
Warning, I might break any writing rules (article) if any.

What is an uptight lady? One must not mistaken uptight with a stuck up.
To answer the latter, I would suggest all of you to watch a movie entitled Easy A, there is a character called Marianne. That kind of person would explain to you well what a stuck up lady is.
In the viewer point of view, she may appear stuck up in term of religious act and piety.

An uptight character usually built over time.
The miracle does not happen in a blink of eyes because you could confuse about being uptight with a woman's mood swing. Blame the hormones once a month or just blame the individual to throw her tantrum as long as she lives.

Uptight people have principles. Rarely being indecisive and always know what she wants.
Like a chant I used to adore and always a dear to heart is,

"Play hard, work hard."

Those four words could simply said, when she is in game

 "Game is on, baby! Come cry to me after I beat you."

During any serious discussion or work, she would put her mind and focus on it. This sound too workaholic, but that is just how she rolls. She would appear unplayful and totally sober to get her job done. As if she was stranded in a desert, while wandering for a town to settle then ease her thirst, along the journey she found an oasis but the town was 100 meters away from the oasis.
What do you think she would do?
Has a quick pit stop to quench the thirst or walk straight into town?
Well, an uptight lady would have no halt and keep walking to the town. Her target is the town; quenching thirst is not the aim, a sub-aim perhaps.
To some people, "What a ridiculous person she is!" kind of thought might arise right now as you may think, there is no harm to stop and get some drink.
But, before you decide to ridicule her decision, she could concentrate better at her objective instead of led astray (the oasis).

Why an uptight character built over time?
It is because of the way she was brought up and what kind of environment she has grew out. Is she from a lay-back family, a less strict family or a strict-to-core kind of family? The intermediate is the one, of course.
When you stumble upon an uptight lady, it does not mean she is always a dead pan serious. No. She has principles (reminder!), thus she has a stance. A striker maybe and could be your pain the arse opponent if ever encountered in fight.
Imagine to rule over a tough cookie. Somehow, a cookie is a cookie with her soft spot and sweetness. Just need right solution to melt down.
All hail guys, the one that able to melt this kind of lady instead of feeling intimidated by her personality. For those who cannot, a pure condolence since being uptight is a persona.
(Sounds bias here)

Above descriptions are quite heavenly and here comes the hell side of her.
To be intimidated by others is not a nice feeling. The other people may perceive her as a no fun human to hang or work with.
Common argument,

"Why can't you have some fun while doing things?"

"She is so serious; don't crack a joke at a wrong time."

"She is bossy!"

The last comment is hurtful. She could be a good leader instead of getting insulted by snide bossy remark. 
Play hard, work hard honey. Play with me when there is a game to participate. I would be the most joyful playmate, err, minus some competitive traits.
A lady she is, sometimes, this kind of uptight lady decided she would rather be a follower than a leader or a boss. She is afraid of crossing limit during directing any activity as a head.
Let me ask you again, will not this kind of talent the lady have would be wasted since she decided to step down and give ways to other lad to do the leading job?

What kind of leader would you love to have?
A dilly-dallier or a head in the game one kind of leader would you prefer? Do not you think her talent is squandered?
Be a wise, please do not feel intimidated if the wrong doers are you; clash of interests within an organization.
God, how I wish people could voice out their opinion and able to make a decision without stirring muddy water.

A confession, the writer is an uptight person.
Need no penny for this thought. 


Heh, siapa nak Ayat balik ???

Diet dan Perempuan

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

Hey, I miss you,
you is writing. I don't call you as it because, 
yknow, the gist of drama at the beginning.

Diet dan perempuan.
Tak banyak sangat pun nak bebel.
Boleh kata, middle name of a girl is 'Diet',
with a particular exception for me since my middle name is 'Random'.

Sekarang dah Mac
musim bunga kalau kat negara empat musim dan bahagianya jerebu tak seteruk tahun lepas di Kuala Lumpur dan sekitarnya.
Motif musim bunga? 
Takde, nak bagitahu lepas musim bunga ada musim panas,
pastu ada summer break, fashion collection for summertime pun dah siap jahit agaknya.
Ceh, tetiba kisah pasal fesyen.
Dan, summer break kan panjang,
kalau yang ada buah hati, Ehem! belajar luar negara,
jadi isu la kot untuk masyarakat sebelah sana untuk cakna tentang bentuk badan fit ker tak,
tegap ker tak, selulit dah nyahkaudarisini ker belum,
tak sabar nak ada 'tanned skin'.\
Yang tu kisah mereka di musim panas nak pakai seluar panas (hot pants), seluar pendek, bikini bottom up tank top apa sahaja untuk menyatakan bahawa:
the hotter the weather, the lesser your skin covered.
*hiks, seluar panas kat mana pandai-pandai la fikir*

Maka juga, disebabkan kita kan komuniti yang tak berapa cerap untuk menjadi
trend follower je mampu.
Diet? Diet tu noks,
bukan kau tak makan satu hari kebulur.
Bukan, sayang.
Diet spesis tak makan tu orang panggil anoreksia, yang takut nak makan,
ada masalah psikologi sebab selalu fikir yang dia muk-muk sampai takut nak makan.
Ni kekonon diet tak nak makan,
sebab berdialogkan,
"Babe, pants I dah saiz 12, dedulu I saiz 8 je tau!"
*flick hair with zig-zag finger snapping gesture*
Kelas kau.

Hey ladies,
diakui oleh penulis ini sendiri,
Calory cut atau kurangkan jumlah kalori yang dimakan setiap hari memang berjaya menurunkan berat badan.
Tapi tahu tak yang lepas dah turun, kalau tak jaga,
berat tu cepat rebound.
Naik bagai dipam-pam nak nak kau kat rumah, mak masak sesedap seantero semesta.
Erm, calory cut tu bukan bermaksud kau dah biasa baham 4000 kalori setiap hari kau kurangkan kepada 3kcal sahaja.
Calory cut hanya berkesan jika,
kalori (sumber tenaga) yang diperlukan berdasarkan kadar metabolisme badan
mengambil kira faktor berat dan saiz tinggi badan terkini,
contohnya lepas kau kira *cari je kat internet calory calculator*
setiap hari perlukan 1400cal untuk hidup secara normal dan tak letih kurang tenaga melepek terguling selepas dua jam kuliah/ kerja.
Oleh itu, kaedah calory cut ni,
kau akan kira kalori segala jenis makanan/minuman yang ditelan supaya tidak melebihi 1400cal.
Hahah, mampu buat lah.
Sesejak penulis dah tua dan bernafsukan seekor dinosaur,
tak kisah kalori banyak mana noks.

Hey ladies,
turun berat semata sebab kau kurang makan.
Kita haruslah mengamalkan dasar,
makan biar sedap, badan kena tegap eh!
*usap perut boroi sesenyap*
Kita nak fit, bukan nak kurus semata.
Ada beza fit dan kurus atau kurang berat.
Fit bermakna kau kurus tapi badan penuh otot,
boleh penulis acah acah ajak lawan gusti.
Kurus boleh bermakna kau takde otot tapi bila goyang lengan jadi bergegar,
itu lemak uols!
Atau pun kau kurus tulang, maafkan saya.

Tips Diet best,
berlagak fit sebentar. Maafkan saya lagi.
Jaga makan dan bersenam la.
Bina otot tu, bukan simpan lemak bawah kulit,
nampak kurus tapi periksa 'body fat' atau lemak dalam badan bersepah.
Jumlah otot pula segan nak wujud atau menempel sekalipun.
Bila uols dah ganti lemak dengan otot,
kadar metabolisme akan naik,
masa ni kalau baham roti canai sambil tengok Arsenal kalah, Eh!
tak kisah sangat. 
Kalau ada yang berhujahkan,
"Aku tak nak pergi gym, nanti naik otot tambah berat badan..."
Meh nak cakap, amboi sangat!
setakat sekilo dua otot tu hasbeng/wifey uols tak kisah lah!
Apa? Banyak otot peluk tak sedap?
Merepek apa uols ni, mengaku je lah malas bersenam...

Tak payah lah bagi alasan tak ada masa, okay?
Setengah jam sebelum tidur pun sempat kot untuk bertinju dengan bantal atau apa la yang tercapai dek imaginasi.
Yang saya geram sebenarnya,
take note okay,
Kau cakap nak diet diet tak sudah,
nak bergerak turun kerusi pun heret montot.
Semoga dapat kesedaran hakiki.

Kata penegasan,
Diet bukan jaga makan semata. Diet itu boleh kata rutin hidangan makanan kot.
Atkins, Diet Karbo, Diet Very Low Calory Cut (200-800cal per day).
Yes honey.

Jaga Diri, Jaga Iman, Jaga Mulut Kuat Makan Badan Tak Nak Gerak

:: Salam Satu Aqidah! ::

p/s: Muahahaha. Saya masih dalam proses menjadi fit. Tiap hujung minggu pergi joging,
atau bahasa gatal saya panggil cuci mata. *blush*

Heh, siapa nak Ayat balik ???

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